Grief has it’s own process
August 23, 2010
Grief has it’s own process and there is no way to “hurry” it along. I just went through several weeks of it myself while looking at small houses to buy and preparing to sell my fairly large and “perfect” house. I didn’t really know for sure what I was going through; I just knew I was angry a lot and crying a lot. These are not normal behaviors for me. I would really try to have a good attitude when we would go out looking at houses (town houses or condos) and by the end of the day I was so exhausted I could hardly do anything. I really tried to imagine how my smaller amount of furniture would fit in the rooms and what I would do to make it a home. Then I’d come home to my light, airy, visually beautiful home full of comfort and everything in it’s place. I did all the financing figures and kept coming up with it would cost more to move than to stay here since I don’t have to fix anything up here. I am talking to a life coach and praying a lot. I know the answers will come because they always do. Finally after several weeks I came to a point where I stopped grieving. Now I have a free choice: to move or stay. Right now it feels like stay very strongly. I certainly am glad to be through the depression and anxiety and sleeplessness, guilt, remorse, shame and all the other feelings that accompanied the grief. I feel freed and lifted even though the decision is still not made. I know I need to plan for the future but I only have today to live to the fullest. Growing older is a challenge and I’m far from elder care, I hope, but I have to think of that eventually. I am glad to have had this cleansing experience. I feel like a new person!
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