An example would be to lose weight and to stay on a certain food plan. To share that goal is to make it real and more attainable. A person may want to quit smoking and can share the difficulty that goes with that and the progress being made as he goes along in attaining that goal. The coach holds the client accountable to empower the change he wants to make. This provides the means for change and creates the greatest opportunity to acknowledge how he succeeds.

Ultimately, the client is accountable for his own life and his own agenda. The coach holds that sacred. Homework is often given to assist the client in understanding the process he is going through in achieving his goals. To be accountable means simply to give an account. What worked? What didn’t work? What happened? What would you do differently next time?

A client having a coach to share with gives the motivation to stick with a project when the initial enthusiasm has worn off. It is to keep client moving along until desired results are obtained. The process is the same regardless of the goal and is what brings success almost every time. Every success brings increased self esteem, confidence, and happiness.

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I have gone through six previous misuses of anger in these blogs. To gain more insight into a person’s uses of anger, a first step is to identify several recent occasions in which the person became angry for questionable reasons. Then look for a pattern. Are there particular circumstances involved? What occurred immediately before an angry outburst? Who else was involved? Were there any specific feelings present, other than anger? Does the anger seem to arise at any specific time of day? Any consistencies one can find will help narrow the search for an unresolved issue generating anger that is being unfairly directed at others. Once the pattern of anger is clarified, identifying the emotional use (of which I have given 7) can then follow.

All forms of misused anger are destructive to relationships and to the sense of self. Marriage counseling is usually needed for couples, and grief and loss counseling can be helpful if that is an issue. Bereavement counseling may also be helpful if the person has lost someone or something important to her. Life coaching can be helpful to anger management, and of course abuse counseling is crucial for the victims’ of such anger. Misused anger can certainly affect one’s spirituality and one’s relationship to a higher power. It affects the person’s ability to assert oneself in a healthy way in getting one’s needs met. It can bring on addiction, requiring help to sort out the chaos. It is codependent behavior.

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I have gone through six previous misuses of anger in these blogs. To gain more insight into a person’s uses of anger, a first step is to identify several recent occasions in which the person became angry for questionable reasons. Then look for a pattern. Are there particular circumstances involved? What occurred immediately before an angry outburst? Who else was involved? Were there any specific feelings present, other than anger? Does the anger seem to arise at any specific time of day? Any consistencies one can find will help narrow the search for an unresolved issue generating anger that is being unfairly directed at others. Once the pattern of anger is clarified, identifying the emotional use (of which I have given 7) can then follow.

All forms of misused anger are destructive to relationships and to the sense of self. Marriage counseling is usually needed for couples, and grief and loss counseling can be helpful if that is an issue. Bereavement counseling may also be helpful if the person has lost someone or something important to her. Live coaching can be helpful to anger management, and of course abuse counseling is crucial for the victims’ of such anger. Misused anger can certainly affect one’s spirituality and one’s relationship to a higher power. It affects the person’s ability to assert oneself in a healthy way in getting one’s needs met. It can bring on addiction, requiring help to sort out the chaos. It is codependent behavior.

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You took your last breath on March 9, 2011. It was such a shock to us,so unexpected, and it has taken until now for me to be ready to write you a farewell letter and a hello letter all in one. I say that because your spirit is in my heart and in our home just as powerfully as it was when you were alive on earth.  To say I miss you dreadfully is an understatement.  Your daddy, Brad, your brother, Mose, and your two sisters (2 years younger than you were) Samantha and Freyja, and your Aunt Ann miss you very much and need extra loving to help make up for you not being here. Your Alpha presense was  dynamic and the love we all exchanged was incredible. There are no words to express how you impacted this family. Sometimes the pain of your loss was overwhelming and would come on when least expected. I learned to cry no matter when or where and not be embarrassed. People were so understanding and loving to me about you when I would just say I was crying over the loss of my cat, Sabrina. Oh,how I loved that name. I felt physically ill at times in reaction to the emotion (or trying not to feel the emotion) of your loss. I prayed for both of us almost constantly. The people who did call or send cards said just the right thing. It was amazing!  The poses you would get into were just so adorable and unique. There will never be a cat to replace you. You went through so many tough times in your life, challenges in which we stood behind you and supported you to the max. You were so brave and uncomplaining.  You brought on every kind of feeling possible to all of us and like you we  were quick to show them and speedy to let go of them. I cried many days for 3 months after you died and sobbed many an hour in grief at the loss of you. I did not talk about it to many people in that I didn’t think anyone could really say anything that would help the pain and I could not tolerate platituides in respect to you. You leapt to the top of the valence of our curtains and to the sky windows. You would race across the room and stop on a dime. When I had 3 cats piled on me in my chair at night somehow you would show up on top of the pile, your face turned upward to the sky. You would snugggle in next to me to comfort and be comforted. You were a free spirit and I don’t think you knew what the word addiction meant. You knew what you wanted and your were determined to get it. You understood what we said and what we spelled so that we had to be very crafty to get you into a cage to go to the vets. You were even a pro at body language. You would come when your name was called, bounding with energy to us. You brought us closer to our higher power.  I was broken hearted one of us wasn’t with you when you died but it all happened so fast. Oh, what lessons I learned from you. I am able to think of you now and not be in emotional pain finally. I can remember your beautiful cat body, your charming face, your precious paws and soft shining fur. You were never abused and your never abused anyone.  I can finally hang your photo on the wall and blow it a kiss as I walk by. Thank you for coming into our lives and for being so “present” with us all the time. You may be buried in our back yard but I believe you are in heaven being the Sabrina angel you are.  You gave us unconditional love and we gave as close as we could to you. You were the epitomy of life and freedom and spirit. Thank you for your being. Love, Your Mother Susan Elizabeth.

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Anger is a normal part of bereavement, but its misuse causes anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of desire for food, compulsive eating, smoking, alcohol consumption, depression and many more negative reactions. Marriage counseling is usually needed to deal with this misuse. Hence, addictions can become a big factor in its misuse. One loses ambition and a sense of goals and purpose, There is a feeling of grief and loss, and assertiveness is called for when the victim of this abuse, this codependency, shows the typical signs as outlined above.

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Anger expressed to reduce internal tension is a sign of codependency and dis-ease. In the workplace, tension and frustration arising out of the pressures of a hectic day are often suppressed. However, once one is out of the workplace, that same tension may be quickly transformed into anger and expressed at opportunistic targets. After several outbursts, calm returns as tension is reduced. But the cost to relationships is high. This misuse of anger causes anxiety, depression, low self esteem, grief and guilt (often unrecognized).

Grief and loss counseling, abuse counseling, assertiveness training, life coaching to set goals for more constructive living, bereavement counseling, and personal counseling may be called for. Misused anger can cause physical illness and psychological stress.

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