Letter to Sabrina, my Tonkinese cat of l6 years.
July 13, 2011
Dear Sabrina,
You took your last breath on March 9, 2011. It was such a shock to us,so unexpected, and it has taken until now for me to be ready to write you a farewell letter and a hello letter all in one. I say that because your spirit is in my heart and in our home just as powerfully as it was when you were alive on earth. To say I miss you dreadfully is an understatement. Your daddy, Brad, your brother, Mose, and your two sisters (2 years younger than you were) Samantha and Freyja, and your Aunt Ann miss you very much and need extra loving to help make up for you not being here. Your Alpha presense was dynamic and the love we all exchanged was incredible. There are no words to express how you impacted this family. Sometimes the pain of your loss was overwhelming and would come on when least expected. I learned to cry no matter when or where and not be embarrassed. People were so understanding and loving to me about you when I would just say I was crying over the loss of my cat, Sabrina. Oh,how I loved that name. I felt physically ill at times in reaction to the emotion (or trying not to feel the emotion) of your loss. I prayed for both of us almost constantly. The people who did call or send cards said just the right thing. It was amazing! The poses you would get into were just so adorable and unique. There will never be a cat to replace you. You went through so many tough times in your life, challenges in which we stood behind you and supported you to the max. You were so brave and uncomplaining. You brought on every kind of feeling possible to all of us and like you we were quick to show them and speedy to let go of them. I cried many days for 3 months after you died and sobbed many an hour in grief at the loss of you. I did not talk about it to many people in that I didn’t think anyone could really say anything that would help the pain and I could not tolerate platituides in respect to you. You leapt to the top of the valence of our curtains and to the sky windows. You would race across the room and stop on a dime. When I had 3 cats piled on me in my chair at night somehow you would show up on top of the pile, your face turned upward to the sky. You would snugggle in next to me to comfort and be comforted. You were a free spirit and I don’t think you knew what the word addiction meant. You knew what you wanted and your were determined to get it. You understood what we said and what we spelled so that we had to be very crafty to get you into a cage to go to the vets. You were even a pro at body language. You would come when your name was called, bounding with energy to us. You brought us closer to our higher power. I was broken hearted one of us wasn’t with you when you died but it all happened so fast. Oh, what lessons I learned from you. I am able to think of you now and not be in emotional pain finally. I can remember your beautiful cat body, your charming face, your precious paws and soft shining fur. You were never abused and your never abused anyone. I can finally hang your photo on the wall and blow it a kiss as I walk by. Thank you for coming into our lives and for being so “present” with us all the time. You may be buried in our back yard but I believe you are in heaven being the Sabrina angel you are. You gave us unconditional love and we gave as close as we could to you. You were the epitomy of life and freedom and spirit. Thank you for your being. Love, Your Mother Susan Elizabeth.
Ways Anger can be misused #7
July 2, 2011
6) Anger used to create emotional distance. Although reasonably common, this misuse of anger is sometimes difficult to spot. Its origin lies in the vulnerability that the insecure person(s) feels when getting too close to others. To reduce the implicit threat, one picks a fight. This conflict creates more interpersonal distance and consequently creates less vulnerability. The telling pattern is the consistent occurrence of petty arguments shortly after moments of intimacy.
Anger is a normal part of bereavement, but its misuse causes anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of desire for food, compulsive eating, smoking, alcohol consumption, depression and many more negative reactions. Marriage counseling is usually needed to deal with this misuse. Hence, addictions can become a big factor in its misuse. One loses ambition and a sense of goals and purpose, There is a feeling of grief and loss, and assertiveness is called for when the victim of this abuse, this codependency, shows the typical signs as outlined above.
