Ways anger can be misused #3
May 29, 2011
3) Psychological displacement of anger. Anger serves many psychological purposes. Linking anger only to personal conflict is easy but deceptive. In reality people use expressed anger inappropriately to meet a variety of questionable emotional needs. This bad habit is also known as the “kick-the-dog” problem. One can become angry in situations in which it would be difficult, inappropriate, or impossible to express anger directly, (i.e. to one’s boss). Because of possible negative consequences, anger may be suppressed until a safe target becomes available. Easy targets can be subordinates on the job, other drivers on the road, a spouse, children, a pet, or strangers who bring on frustrations in minor ways. These innocents receive the brunt of pent up anger because they are there and vulnerable. In these cases, anger management counseling can be helpful overcoming this tendency. This misuse of anger is a definite sign of codependency and can signal anxiety and depression. It is abusive to those around the person who uses this type of anger, and he will find himself without friends and associates if he continues this behavior. It is hard on a marriage and marriage counseling may be called for. It is one of the stages of grief/bereavement.
Ways in which Anger can be misused #2
May 15, 2011
2) Anger as a motivating form of energy. The experience of anger is so uncomfortable that most people are motivated to express it simply as a way of becoming emotionally calm again. Unfortunately, at times this involves directing it against those who may have had nothing whatsoever to do with the cause. Anger may also be used as part of acquired impatience. As life grows busier and more complicated, there is a tendency to speed up to get everything done. The result is a sort of hurry-sickness. One begins to work faster, talk faster, drive faster, and become steadily more impatient with anyone or anything that gets in his way. Accompanying this type of anger is impatience being generated by the frustration one feels. Some people want the world to hurry up or get out of their way, and it doesn’t. This can make them angry, and they get angry frequently. Counseling and coaching can provide techniques that help one get over this type of anger, thus freeing the person to adopt a pace that is healthier for him and for others. Anger misused can cause physical illness and psychological stress, including anxiety and depression.
It is shocking how damaging the improper use of anger can be
May 5, 2011
I’ve studied anger inside and out so that I could help others (as well as myself) deal with the emotion in an effective and safe way. I can only handle it myself well and teach others to do the same. I cannot change the horrific anger that is wild in the whole world. Each of us needs to be responsible to take care of our own anger. If everyone did that there would be no wars and people could get along. I help through counseling, coaching, and an 8 week tele-workshop. The reason I made such a thorough study of it was because 40 years ago I was at the affect of violent anger from another and I was also in great pain because of all the years of repressed anger I had piled up. Through my own studies and with the help of a very knowledgeable counselor, I unearthed my own anger (repressed means you don’t know it’s there but you have physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual symptoms) and freed myself of pain and of allowing another to throw his anger on me. Therefore, I will be writing a series on anger of all kinds and some suggestions on how to deal with them as I mentioned in an earlier blog. I believe it is the most misunderstood and harmful emotion we have and for full health on all levels it is crucial it is identified and understood. This will make all the difference in your relationships and health, your codpendency will be lessened and the world will be a better place. It is almost impossible to do on your own. You really need someone well versed in anger to help you at whatever level you are.
