Staying in healthy family system
December 31, 2010
Staying in healthy family system and lean away from dysfunctional behavior and negative choices. To be healthy the family, each person, needs to communicate with one another and not through others in the family. There should be no accusations through others but discuss any issues with the person involved.
This keeps from having defensive behavior or anger and anxiety. It is really easy to share openly what is going on in your life and have support for that. There is so much to be greatful for in the family and to focus on that, not on the little unimportant things that don’t reeally matter. My grandson, who is l2 yr. old, said it best when he said the most important things at holidays are family, not the material things. That is somehting to take into 2011 with us!!
Visiting family near holidays
December 1, 2010
Visiting family near holidays can be quite an experience! Depending on how healed you are in your codependency is the quality of visit you will have. You cannot control other people so it is best to just visit knowing the family will be the way they are at this given time and you can choose to enjoy them or find fault with them. It really is that simple. Even if you are dealing with active addicts and alcoholics you still have a choice on how you respond (rather than “react”) to each person at any moment. Your main job will be to take care of yourself, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It also is your job to let others care for themselves unless you are asked to hellp out or there is an obvious situation that needs attending. I am going on a trip to visit my children and grandchildren and various others. So it my husband. What I need to remember is I cannot control my husband in how he deals with the family. Hopefully he will follow his alanon program and let them all “be” but I am not in charge of that. I am going with a positive attitude and loving heart. May the family have like feelings towards us as we visit. I am praying to be guided and cared for. There will probably be some physical pain to deal with all people involved. May I act appropriately.
