Focusing on the positive as a way to stay away from depression and anxiety
January 24, 2010
Focusing on the positive as a way to stay away from depression and anxiety. So much of the world is focused on the negative as we see in the daily news. It can make our own problems seem more exaggerated than usual and bring us down to fears, worries, and sleeplessness. Without positive intervention it can bring us down to the pits and we become very discouraged. Coaching and counseling are two ways that definitely will help bring us out of such a discouraging state of affairs. Physical illness is a strong reaction to so much negativity. Violence can come into play with couples and family relationships and marriage counseling will help that immensely. Prayer and spirituality and religion are most helpful during this time of difficulty. It helps self-esteem and confidence and brings strength back into the us!
Spirituality will help you through tough times
January 14, 2010
Spirituality will help you through tough times. Life is so full of ups and downs and we have been conditioned by our family of origin and by society to worry about the future or regret the past. It is important to live in the present moment as much as we possibly can so that we don’t miss important things that are going on right now. Concern about the past and future are necessary for introspection when a person is going through some self searching. At those time we can look at our mistakes and make some future goals. Other than that, it is really a waste of time to not live in the moment. By turning to a power greater than ourselves, some choose to call God or another name, we are accessing our highest self and opening to our greatest wisdom. This is where our creativity lies, where our resoursefulness is stored, and how we can best serve the world as well as ourselves. This also turns away depression, anxiety, fear, insomnia, emotional and even physical pain. The connection with a higher source brings us to a level of being where we can be the most productive in our lives and enjoy our lives the most. It is where the love is stored and beauty is available in even a momentary passing. Try prayer the next time you are hit with negativity of any kind. Read some meditation books and trust you are being heard and your prayers will be answered. This will improve your relationships with all those around you. Counseling and coaching can be a great source to get you started on this path or to restart you again if you lost your way.
Anger Management-Susan
January 9, 2010
I am writing an article on anger management and the many ways we misuse anger. It is so important an issue and causes so many problems that I want to mention it here again. I did a series about the misuses of anger, and you might want to go over those again.
Anger is a complicated emotion and needs to be studied as if you were a detective. Life coaching and counseling is almost crucial to free one of this destructive emotion when it is misused. If used properly, anger can be helpful, but few people know how to do it well. It can cause strain in marriages and in any relationship, and couples counseling can relieve that. It can cause physical illness and eat away at one’s soul. Many people today are in denial that their anger has reached the point of causing them physical and mental harm and they subject others to it in ways that I described in previous blogs.
There is enough anger in the world. Use it for energy and to do good for others and not to destroy. It is an energy that can be used to motivate one to get things done and to do positive things to make this world a better place. Handled properly, it can keep your spiritual channels open and make you into a real contributor to humanity.
If you are suffering grief and loss, you may need bereavement counseling, so you can work though problems without hurting yourself or others. This is part of the process of grief. I used to get anxiety until I found out it was really anger I wasn’t expressing (or even acknowledging). As soon as I recognized my anger and began to express it and do something about the cause, the anxiety went away. The same can happen with depression, which is anger turned inward.
To be free of resentment and using anger inappropriately is a godsend. I am very grateful to have learned all about it years ago when I was in my codependency and addictions. I found that anger was causing me pain and guilt and physical illness. Guilt and shame for no reason was dogging me. Anger caused insomnia and sleepless, certainly restless sleep. I am grateful that I am a curious and persistent person who likes to find answers. It has saved my life
Physical and Psychological Pain
January 9, 2010
Physical and psychological pain may best be alleviated by seeing a counselor to deal with the causes, so that working together they can be dispelled. In the meantime, if you need to get through something that is time limited, such as a sudden death of a dear one, you may find that you can more easily tolerate the pain if you do positive affirmations. Subscribing to my words of wisdom helps me in keeping life in perspective, when I read them, and of course when I am writing them and then again when I do the tedious job of putting them into my website. Stay assertive and let people know your needs; let people help you and also ask for help.
If you have a church that you really feel serves you, then it may be able to assist you in getting the healing you seek as well as connect you with the people there. If you need to take time off and just nurse your pain, then do it as long as it isn’t an escape from going on with your life. Getting the sleep you need is most important. Also, read books as a helpful escape, think positively about being happy and living in the present, knowing that this too shall pass. When you find negative thinking creeping in, immediately replace it with a positive thought.
Compulsive Need to Fix Addict
January 7, 2010
The compulsive need to control and fix an addict/alcoholic or anything else in the world is the need to fix what you cannot fix. Some people develop this compulsion as a reaction to not being willing or able to accept their powerlessness over alcoholism or drug addiction, starting with their parents’ drinking or someone in their family on drugs. They find a set of problems imposed on them that they are required to fix (by implication from family or friends) but they know subconsciously that they cannot fix. This paradox causes them anxiety, dread, guilt, fear, anger, and sleeplessness and makes serenity unattainable. The gift of counseling gradually loosens that deep sense of obligation to manage and control, and clients learn that they did not cause their problems and, therefore, cannot control them and certainly cannot cure them. They learn boundaries to protect themselves from their abusers. They learn that in reality love and serenity cannot be wrested from people or from the world at large but must come from within.
Counseling/Coaching via Internet and Phone
January 2, 2010
Counseling/Coaching via the internet and phone is the latest way to ‘talk”. However, nothing is quite like physically getting together, one on one or in a group, and sharing concerns and feelings. One great advantage of the internet is affording the individual access to a communication medium that is always connected. Through emails and other means (phone and skype, for example) one can receive encouragement in maintaining a positive attitude from a counselor/coach or friends. This can help wipe out depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and so many other worrisome feelings. Our self esteem rises as we share with one another and support each other in our goals. For example, one may find that marriage counseling is a good way to preserve a marriage before it has a chance to go bad.
