Obesity Is a Key link to Soaring Health Tab
July 28, 2009
USA TODAY reported that obesity now accounts for 9.1% of all medical spending, up from 6.5% in 1998. Obesity increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes, several types of cancer and other diseases. With my method of coaching and counseling, I have helped many people lose weight, some as much as 200 lb., and keep it off no matter what is happening in their lives. Obesity is an addiction to food, sometimes particular foods that pulls a person down and causes low self esteem, low energy, back problems, depression, anxiety, and anger. It is a treatable addiction, AND it is a very difficult addiction to overcome.
Diet centers help people get it off, but then they put it right on again. That is why coaching is so effective; it keeps it off. In coaching, one learns not only the ins and outs of food addiction but how to deal with the person’s feelings that are causing him to eat, as well.
I keep in close touch with my clients that are losing weight through daily emails, not just a once a week but also telephone appointments. I stay right with them, because it is a lonely addiction to have. Call me for an appointment and we can discuss your goals on losing weight and keeping it off. It will give you a whole new life and save you from being abused anymore.
Codependency Matter of Life and Death
July 28, 2009
Codependency is a matter of life and death. This may be a harsh judgment, but it is not just something that is interfering in one’s life; it is taking one’s life away. The seriousness of it can be stressed by the addictions that come from it as well as the physical illnesses that are caused by it. High blood pressure, skin diseases, breathing issues, back pain, body pain and aches, headaches, gastrological problems, and other physical illness result from untreated codependency. Anxiety and depression, extreme sadness, guilt and remorse, and difficulty grieving in a normal way are all results of it. Anger and resentment become part of daily life and people find themselves unhappy with negative attitudes. Many people do not realize the seriousness of the disease of codependency and need to be reminded. It is essential to seek help from a qualified codependent counselor who can help the codependent sort out his or her part in the family system.
Reasons People Enable the Addict: #5
July 26, 2009
5) Fear of what could happen to the addict if not protected and therefore enabled. I’ve already talked about shame and fear as being reasons why one would enable an alcoholic or addict. The enabler could also be depressed and not know what to do or how to handle the addict or what people would say if they knew there was a problem. The enabler might be afraid of something bad happening to the addict and/or the addict hurting himself. The enabler is codependent and needs help. A counselor can help the enabler help herself.
Reasons People Enable the Addict: #4
July 25, 2009
4) Security. This means turning a blind eye to negative behavior. Enabling helps the alcoholic or addict continue his or her destructive behavior. It is the opposite of confronting the issue and letting the addict know his behavior is recognized. A person may believe the addict would bring on economic insecurity and keep money from her if she confronted him. She may be afraid of abandonment, the addict choosing the addiction over her. Fear of rejection is very powerful, admitting the possibility of being left alone and lonely. The enabler may feel she is spiritually bound to protect the addict and will be subject to punishment by a Higher Power. Being required to handle this all alone is more than should be asked of anyone. A counselor who is adept in matters of alcoholism, addiction, and codependency can provide the enabler with the support to look at these issues and make a plan on how to handle them. The enabler would be given ideas on how to protect her financially as well as emotionally. The reasons to enable make sense when looked at from this perspective, even though in the long run the enabler is on a dead end street.
Reasons People Enable the Addict: #3
July 24, 2009
3) Family values. Many families take pride in being “fine” and perfect. They feel they can take care of “their own” and need no outside help. It would be embarrassing to have anyone know they have problems in their family. Family members can rationalize that no one is perfect and just learn to live around the addict as they would any sick person. This is destructive to other members of the family and will cause them to have physical and emotional problems. This type of family becomes good at ignoring the problem or praying it away without taking action to remedy the problem. Self image is important to the family members, and they feel it is blight on their image to have a problem they can’t handle. A counselor could intervene and help them see they can do something about their roles in the dysfunctional family. A counselor could help them see they should have no shame and guilt in a common problem that is so widespread throughout countries of the world, especially the United States. To effectively attack the problem, the family members have to be in enough pain and fear that they are willing to seek help and reach out to a counselor. Until then, the family members often feel they are stuck and can’t do anything about their situation, except live with it. Counselor could help them see they have choices
Counseling
July 24, 2009
Counseling is the ultimate of paying attention. It is dealing with whatever patients bring to the session and honestly responding with help specifically directed toward their problems. It is listening to patients problems and getting them to define their problems as concisely as possible. It is reassuring patients that everything in the session is confidential and sacred. Mostly, patients need to be heard. Reflective listening is a tool that is used to repeat back patients what the counselor has heard, making sure the counselor has understood correctly what the patients are expressing.
The counselor encourages patients to be honest with themselves so they can get to the core of their problems. The counselor helps patients see that they can cope with issues while pointing out choices they can make. The counselor helps patients see that they are not victims of their circumstances. There is always an answer. It is finding the right one for them. My goal for clients is to bring out the best in them and have them shine. I love success, and love it for my clients to be successful in whatever ways they choose to be or do. I want them to have the freedom to be real, to be themselves! I want them to look therapeutically at all possible addictions going on in their family systems or with friends.
Reasons People Enable the Addict: #2
July 23, 2009
2) Maintain the self image of the person being abused by the addict. There is often a lot of shame connected to being abused and being with an addict. How would the abused “look” to others would if she admitted there was a problem? Would people blame her or look down on her for being in that position? She might feel guilty thinking she did something to cause the addict to be addicted. This is especially true for parents with children who are addicts. They might think they did or didn’t do something they should have done that caused the addiction. They might think if only they could be different, then the addict would stop the behavior. The fact is they didn’t cause it, they can’t control it, and they can’t cure it. There is a lot of information available, especially in Twelve Step Programs that can give them information about the disease and their part in it and how it is affecting them. A counselor can teach them knowledge about addiction of all kinds. They need to come out of isolation, so they can learn about the disease and learn it isn’t their fault. Enablers need to see they are codependent.
What Is Counseling?
July 23, 2009
Counseling helps individuals and families understand what is going on in their environment and in the individual. It helps them explore their feelings, thoughts, and motives. It has them look at their core beliefs to see if they are working for them in a positive way. It helps them understand and make decisions about boundaries and limits and what is healthy and what is dysfunctional. It looks at dysfunctional behavior and challenges that. A counselor can help people make sense out of what often seems like chaos. It is a confidential experience where trust is built so individuals can confide in the counselor and be honest with him/her about what is really going on in them. It helps people make decisions about their lives. They begin to see they are not victims but have choices, not only in their behavior but in their attitudes. Coaching is about making goals and reaching them. This can be contained in counseling but is not the entire purpose. Counseling can also look at spirituality and religion as a source for help.
Reasons People Enable the Addict: #1
July 22, 2009
Since I have a client who has been enabling his spouse in addictive behavior and now finally sees how damaging that behavior is to him, I was curious what motivated him to continue to make excuses for the addict for so long. The next few days I will go into reasons why a person would block out the addict’s behavior or just go on praying for her as a way to avoid doing anything about it without taking action.
I will give five reasons over the next few days.
1) Depending on the severity of the addiction and the addict’s temperament, the enabler might be afraid of the addict’s violence and be anxious about the harm the addict might do to her. The enabler might even feel her life is in danger if she confronts the addict in any meaningful way, such as giving an ultimatum of treatment/meetings or else she will leave the person. This is generally more threatening to a woman than to a man, but woman are known to be violent if confronted with their addictions and become aware that corrective action is about to be taken. The enabler might also be afraid the addict will do something to hurt her. Therefore, it is best to do nothing without the backing of a counselor who is adept in matters of addiction and tough love.
Accountability in Coaching
July 21, 2009
In coaching the client sets up goals in which he wants to be accountable. The coach is there to protect that accountability not to be responsible for it. That is up to the client. The coach wants very much for the client to reach his goals each week, but the coach is not attached to whether the client does so or not. The coach is there to encourage, to help the client learn from mistakes, and to help the client understand why he may have failed. There is no criticizing or judging of the client, and there is a great acclaim for when the client is able to accomplish each step of the way.
An example would be to lose weight and to stay on a certain food plan. To share that goal is to make it real and more attainable. A person may want to quit smoking and can share the difficulty that goes with that and the progress being made as he goes along in attaining that goal. The coach holds the client accountable to empower the change he wants to make. This provides the means for change and creates the greatest opportunity to acknowledge how he succeeds.
Ultimately, the client is accountable for his own life and his own agenda. The coach holds that sacred. Homework is often given to assist the client in understanding the process he is going through in achieving his goals. To be accountable means simply to give an account. What worked? What didn’t work? What happened? What would you do differently next time?
A client having a coach to share with gives the motivation to stick with a project when the initial enthusiasm has worn off. It is to keep client moving along until desired results are obtained. The process is the same regardless of the goal and is what brings success almost every time. Every success brings increased self esteem, confidence, and happiness.
